Intrusion from the Future Me

I'm a wedding photographer now

I don't know how I found my way back onto writing on this blog, yet here I am 3:02 in the morning.  I guess I find myself on here sometimes reflecting on my life with him- searching for where things went incredibly wrong. My life has changed so much, I've changed so much.  In this process of loosing the man I loved for eight years I have been forced to begin to gain a love for myself.  For any of you that have felt the way that I have felt these past 11 months know that it is an incredibly lonely and painful process.  Yet I am grateful. I am grateful for the AWAKENING of who I was as a person.  I've realized certain things about myself that I didn't realize when I was with him. Things I do, or ways I react. It's never easy to recognize that the confused little girl in the mirror is you or that your heart/ brain is capable of such intense damage.  Even though Brent (oh gosh, yes I said his name) and I have almost been apart for a year now my heart and soul are still so so so broken. I STILL have so much more learning to do, but the possibilities for me are open and endless.

Since I have nothing, I literally can do anything...

If anyone has any suggestions feel free to chime in now!


Aaron and Michelle said...

"Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. It’s wonderful that you have strengths. And it is part of your mortal experience that you do have weaknesses.

God wants to help us to eventually turn all of our weaknesses into strengths,1 but He knows that this is a long-term goal. He wants us to become perfect,2 and if we stay on the path of discipleship, one day we will. It’s OK that you’re not quite there yet. Keep working on it, but stop punishing yourself." I have to remind myself of this everyday! I love you tons Alexa

Aaron and Michelle said...

Pres. Uchdorfe said that quote. LOL! not me!