Intrusion from the Future Me

I'm a wedding photographer now

I don't know how I found my way back onto writing on this blog, yet here I am 3:02 in the morning.  I guess I find myself on here sometimes reflecting on my life with him- searching for where things went incredibly wrong. My life has changed so much, I've changed so much.  In this process of loosing the man I loved for eight years I have been forced to begin to gain a love for myself.  For any of you that have felt the way that I have felt these past 11 months know that it is an incredibly lonely and painful process.  Yet I am grateful. I am grateful for the AWAKENING of who I was as a person.  I've realized certain things about myself that I didn't realize when I was with him. Things I do, or ways I react. It's never easy to recognize that the confused little girl in the mirror is you or that your heart/ brain is capable of such intense damage.  Even though Brent (oh gosh, yes I said his name) and I have almost been apart for a year now my heart and soul are still so so so broken. I STILL have so much more learning to do, but the possibilities for me are open and endless.

Since I have nothing, I literally can do anything...

If anyone has any suggestions feel free to chime in now!